(Bev and Carol are characters from my two (soon to be three)
humorous memoirs. See right side panel for links.)
Three years at university were awesome (always wanted to use
that word and now feel strangely let down).
But… they very nearly didn’t happen!
First off, (excuses, excuses) didn’t get the grades I
wanted. Big surprise. Blame (oh, there
has to be blame!) psychological torture and lack of faith on part of middle-class educational establishment of
the elite, grammar school variety.
Other possible factors: hedonistic tendencies, narcissistic
wearing out of mirrors, lack of ‘application’ (memories of comments in margins
– notably: ‘satisfactory’, 'grammar?' 'No!'), plus, penchant for copying out tedious
articles from Reader’s Digest for school projects, notably: ‘Write about a
Favourite Holiday Destination (with pictures)’ – Afghanistan was a bad choice,
even in the seventies, (excellent drawing of camel, although can now reveal it was traced…from National
Geographic).
Unfortunately, was pigeonholed (nice but dim) and packed off
to secretarial school (bilingual course) clutching two (not three) A’ levels,
having been ASSURED by elements of
afore-mentioned establishment that university entry was, is and will
always remain the domain of the THREE A’-levelled candidate. (Dubious compound).
This turned out to be a BIG LIE.
Two years later, after exercising accredited secretarial
skills in various contexts, most boringly as
legal dogsbody and appalling speller/typist, it was back to the drawing
board. Duly informed by (normally
unreliable) friend that university entry was and always had been viable with
only TWO A’ levels.
BUGGERATION!
Strangulation of former headmistress and/or careers’ advisor
impracticable and, arguably, disproportionate.
Sulking ensued. Much
contemplation, much going down pub.
Eventually, arrived at decision – would make belated
application to take up place at Keele
University (famous for lakes) to study English and French literature, with
subsidiary Astronomy (one science subject required). Astronomy least frightening/prettiest.
From 1977 – 1980 undergraduate/scholar/bimbo/jam aficionado
and expert in procrastination.
Will attempt to record best bits in coming weeks, months,
years. Bouts of lethargy, extreme
alternative activity and/or mood swings may result in casual scheduling of
posts.
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