Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Towel/Sunlounger dilemma.

Let's see.  Either I get up at the crack of dawn and fling a towel on a vacant plastic recliner or I arrive too late and have to mask my venom with a radiant smile as I wander round enquiring whether there might be a chance of nabbing one that isn't actually occupied. If you don't mind.  Shame on you.

'Excuse me.  Do you need these six loungers?'

'Yes.  You should have come earlier.'

'And you should be boiled in oil.'

Of course I don't say anything like this.  Not out loud, anyway. But I would like to have the nerve to just take off the towel and plonk myself down.  Can you imagine the seconds of satisfaction?

As it is, I generally find a normal chair, borrowed from a lifeguard, and pretend to enjoy myself until someone leaves.  Then, I jump up and race for the lounger, trampling small children and slow movers  to get there first.

I drag my lounger back towards the shade of my palm tree and tan safely, marvelling at the amount of chorizo coloured flesh oozing in its various forms all around me.

The pool is full of people.  There is nowhere to swim.  I read my book and swig my warm drink, wishing that my sunglasses were not so heavy on my nose.  Should I have paid more for some better ones? 


I wonder whether I would rather not be here at all. But I am on holiday and I must make the most of the pool. It's free and set in acres of beautiful pine forest.

I am hot and uncomfortable.  Perhaps I should go for a quick dip.  Just to cool off.  I stand, stretch and move gracefully towards the pool.  The lifeguard blows a whistle and people swim or lumber to the sides, climbing out as fast as they can.

A turd has been found and the pool will close for twelve hours.

Next morning the alarm rings and I think about reserving a lounger.  Then I go back to sleep.  After all, it's not fair to reserve a lounger if you're not actually using it, is it?  And I reason that the muscles I will use to glare at the smug lounger-baggers after a leisurely breakfast, will do wonders for wrinkle prevention. 


 I think briefly about where I might purchase a plastic turd.


So, where do you stand on the towel/sunlounger issue.  And don't lie, because I'll know. 









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