Tuesday, 12 April 2016

More Holiday Fun with Bev and Carol

It wasn’t long before we had got into a routine of getting up late, eating brunch, reading and lounging about for a while, and then walking down to the beach for a swim.
We always went to the local beach, it was nicer than Canet Plage, where we had gone with Luc and his friends.  It was less crowded too.  That meant not many children and fewer children meant less noise and less chance of having sand kicked all over us, or concussion from various kinds of balls.
We set out as usual and met a girl carrying an absolutely enormous rucksack, leaning forward at a worrying angle, and wearing one of the biggest smiles I’d ever seen.  She was not English, you could tell even from a distance, from the colour of her skin and the tee shirt she was wearing with ‘Flugzeug’ written across it.
‘Hallo!’ she said, increasing her pace and looking as though she would tumble over at any moment.
We stopped.  Somebody had to.
‘I look for the Mermaid site!  Do you tell me where is it?’ she said, slowing her pace.
Carol was impressively helpful and the girl, whose name was Ingrid, said that she would see us later.  At least that’s what I think she said.
It was four o’clock by then and perfect for sunbathing and swimming in the sea.  We bought oranges from a man with about a million of them piled up on the side of the road and carried on our way. 
I enjoyed the walk to the beach.  It was rare to meet anyone, and the scenery was reminiscent of those paintings where the sky and the land seem flat against each other and the view goes on forever.  I mentioned this to Carol, curious to have her opinion.
‘Yeah,’ she said. ‘Just like in Star Wars!’
As I had not expected this comparison, I probed her further.
‘Do you mean the idea of infinity, the amorphous nature of time and the universe?’
‘Nah!  It all reminds me of the intro.  You know!  When the screen is black and the words kind of roll out into the distance and vanish.’
I had no idea what she meant, so I told her so.  She ignored me and continued with her train of thought as though I had not spoken:
‘Trouble was, I could never read the words in time.  What are all those Japanese people doing?’
This really did fox me.  First Star Wars and now Japanese people.  Was Carol experiencing some kind of schizophrenic episode?  Had the heat of the sun eroded her power of rational thought? 
She pointed. ‘There!  What the bloody hell is going on?’
It was true.  There had appeared, as though from nowhere, a very large trail of extremely overdressed Japanese tourists, all middle-aged and all with cameras around their necks.  They moved as bees swarming, massing together and surging apart, as though breathing, as one.
‘Bollocks!’ said Carol.  ‘They’re going to the beach!’
I didn’t count them, but soon, we had caught up with them.  They filled the path and there was no way past.  In addition to this problem, I wondered whether it might not be the experience we were looking for to be on the same stretch as hundreds of beach tourists who had no intention of taking their jackets off and might never shut up.
‘Come on!’ said Carol, veering off along a path we had never taken before.

It was certainly quieter, and it wasn’t long before we found out why.
‘Does naturiste mean what I think it means?’ asked Carol, standing in front of a very large sign with a very large arrow on it.
I wasn’t sure, but I thought so.
‘I don’t mind getting my baps out if you don’t!’  she reasoned.
The beach was coming up fast and we clutched at each other, controlling our giggles as best we could.  We might have made it, had we not heard men’s voices behind us and looked round to see two bronzed gods swinging up fast.
‘Christ on a bike!’ said Carol, stepping aside and staring rudely.
‘Guten Tag!’
Please don’t stop and have a conversation with us!  I thought.
They passed in front of us and we watched their perfect asses for a while, breathing in for what seemed to be a very long time and, eventually remembering to breathe out.
‘Did you see the size of his cock?’ asked my gobsmacked friend.
‘Well, yes.  I didn’t have much choice in the matter, did I?’
‘Come on!  There must be loads more on the beach…’

I wasn’t sure that I fancied the idea of so much nudity all in one place, but I had never sunbathed topless before, so I was keen to give it a go in an environment where one extra set of, admittedly, perfect breasts would not cause too much of a stir.  To my horror, Carol was untying her bikini top before we even got there and soon it was difficult for me to concentrate on what she was saying as I felt a little seasick in the face of so much uncontrolled bouncing.

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