A Groovy Education with Bev and Carol

HALF PRICE today:  'Bunny on a Bike' - 80s London (humorous memoir of a Playboy croupier): viewBook.at/B0089FB71O 

Bev and Carol are characters from my two (soon to be three) humorous memoirs.  See right side panel.

Episode Five

Wake late.  Wall to wall swearing.  No time for tea.  Can’t find hairbrush. Universe too quantum.

Morning lecture (in French!) on Corneille’s ‘Le Cid’.  Another tortured love story in which Chimène (v. fussy heroine) and Rodrigue (another victim of medieval code of honour) almost get together, between duels. 

Prof. jovial, competent.  Notes a mess, need to write up later in EITHER English OR French, (not combination of both).  Proud of self.    

Early lunch in university canteen with Beth (misplaced London socialite).  Ate liver (not hers) and onions, sautéed potatoes, soggy green beans, followed by jam roly poly.  Watched Beth eat lettuce leaf, tomato, part of orange segment.  Macrobiotic. Listened to Beth complain about Mike (postgrad with facial hair, bad breath – penchant for garlic marinade, and owner of recently manufactured car). 

Welcomed unexpected brief interlude - stung by wasp (crawled inside leg of my jeans).  Beth had anaphylactic shock on my behalf. (Like watching goldfish on carpet.)  Killed wasp, applied handy vinegar to sting – lucky guess.  Beth took inhaler in lieu of adrenalin.

Observed Professor Whitehead (Philosophy) collecting unconsumed cheese portions from trays.  Hobby or necessity?  Or giant pet mouse?  

Beth worn out after eating uncooked carrot.  Went for nap.

Picked up grant cheque. HOORAY!  Paid canteen bill (termly – subsidised – be mad not to). 

Beloved Renault pootled to bank to make deposit.  Bought recommended course books, new dress, soap.  Phoned father. Love and silence.

Home to Room.  Elsa called.  Union disco scheduled, cider (Bulmer’s dry) purchased, cheese on toast melted.  Helen tempted (by disco).  VBFH tempted (by cheese on toast).  Elsa bemused (by non-babe contingent).

Selected black satin stretch trousers, white crepe blouse, black shiny belt.  Platform boots, black.  Elsa, immaculate in silver.  Helen amazed.  Sylvia appalled.  RESULT!

Black hole of Union sucked us in.  Event horizon breached.  All rules of known universe broken.  Music emitting mysterious pulsar beat, stomach vibrating. PREDATORY thoughts.  Smokey layers, dark and darkest.  Beings clustered, talking, smoking, staring out. 

Elsa brilliant dancer/terrible bore (hiding from Andy).  What the…?

Ram Jam.  Black Betty.  OBLIVION…

to be continued…