Friday, 24 November 2017

Fun with Bev and Carol

Just to let you know I'm running a price promotion on all my humorous memoirs beginning on November 29th for five - seven days (depending on the ebook).  At the bottom of this post I've included a short extract from Bunny on a Bike so you can see whether you empathise with a rather easily distracted Bev as she undergoes a particularly challenging test to become a Playboy croupier.

There are four books in the Bev and Carol series (all but one are available in paperback too):


                                                         



                                                                                                                     

                                                                                        







Here's the extract, where Bev and Carol take the second maths test included in the Playboy selection process:

More Maths (this time, ‘mental’)


Keith was right, there was more to come.

‘Please record your answers on the paper provided, clearly numbered and legibly written.  Take care to keep to the correct numbering.  You will hear the questions once and have ten seconds to calculate and note down your answer.’
We had made it through to the final hurdle.  There were twenty-seven of us left, which meant that seven of us would not get a job, according to a girl called Desdemona, who, apparently, hadn’t heard of a ‘geezer’ called Shakespeare.
Suddenly maths seemed more important.  I had scored ninety-five on the written maths test, one more than Carol. Result!  Keith had got eighty-three.

We were spaced out, spatially speaking, so that copying would be impossible this time, and I knew that I was on my own.  In some twisted way, this was invigorating as I felt, unjustifiably, that I was up to the challenge. I flexed my mental muscles and took a deep breath – oxygen to the brain, in lieu of a gin and tonic - memories of my French Oral exam at ‘O’ level came flooding back.  Carol gave me a look that said, ‘You have a bogey on the end of your nose.’  And I stared back with a, ‘Your right boob is more droopy than your left one.’  We were as relaxed as we could be under the circumstances and ready for the first question.

‘Question one.  Seven times nine?’
The numbers fed into my brain and it spoke to me: Easy peasy.  Ten sevens are seventy, less seven, means nine sevens are sixty-three.  It appeared that I had forgotten my nine times table.  Oh well, never mind.
‘Question two.  Eleven times thirteen?’
Bit more tricky. Ten thirteens are one hundred and thirty, plus thirteen, makes one hundred and forty-three.  Thank you brain. And so it went on.  After a few minutes, I heard a soft blubbing noise behind me, and Desdemona was led away by one of the assistants. One down, six to go.   I looked over to where Keith was sitting and he winked at me.  I stuck out my tongue and smiled broadly, waiting for the test to continue.

Friday, 10 November 2017

Goodreads Giveaway!



Goodreads Book Giveaway

My Grandfather's Eyes by B.A. Spicer

My Grandfather's Eyes

by B.A. Spicer

Giveaway ends November 29, 2017.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter Giveaway

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Free short story!

I have two offers running at the moment!  Can I tempt you to something new to read?

'Strings', a vintage sci fi short story, is free until 15th November:

View on Amazon


'My Grandfather's Eyes', mystery/psychological thriller, is just 99p/99c until 12th November:

View on Amazon


And while you're here...

My brand new paperback is now published!  'A Good Day for Jumping' has been described as intelligent, surprising and evocative.  Set in Greece, it follows the misadventures of Stephen Firth, a man of considerable wealth, who jilts his bride and runs to Crete, where he was brought up as a child.  The people he meets become more than just playthings and he begins to see that there is more to life than money and power.  'A Good Day for Jumping' is available as an ebook and in paperback.  

View book and reviews on Amazon

Friday, 27 October 2017

Excerpt from Bunny on a Bike - for fans of the 80s









1981


One

‘Why Don’t You Ask Me I Might Say Yes!’



I wanted to be a bunny as soon as I saw the advertisement.  Why wouldn’t I? There was no question that it was the most interesting job prospect I’d seen so far. I thought: casinos, glamour, fast cars and millionaires.  But most of all I thought it would be better than working for a living.  So I told Carol and she said we would go to London together.  Easy.  After all, we didn’t have anything else planned for the rest of our lives.  We had both put in just enough effort to get our degrees and, having got this far, didn’t have a clue what to do with them.  Some of our friends were going to be doctors, solicitors or even teachers.  They knew what they wanted.  I hated them all. 
We met up at King’s Cross, eventually.  Carol had managed to get herself almost arrested for slipping past the toilet attendant but, in a stroke of genius, had invented a relative who worked as a toilet attendant in Exeter station and who had been given an award for the cleanest toilets in the South West of England.  Mary, the London loo keeper, thought that she had heard of auntie Georgina and asked Carol to make sure to pass on her regards, before pressing a free token into her hand and wiping a metaphorical tear from her eye, saying that it had been a great pleasure to make her acquaintance and that, when you got up in the morning, you never knew what was going to happen.

Sunday, 8 October 2017


99p/99c Ends 13th October!

Funny, colourful and full of joie de vivre!


Amazon US: Stranded in the Seychelles

Also available in paperback: Stranded in the Seychelles

Thursday, 7 September 2017

Why not try your luck? Click on 'giveaway details' for this book.


Goodreads Book Giveaway

Bunny on a Bike by Bev Spicer

Bunny on a Bike

by Bev Spicer

Giveaway ends September 22, 2017.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter Giveaway

Friday, 18 August 2017

Excerpt from my latest mystery-thriller, 'What I Did Not Say'.




99p until 25th August

view book on Amazon


Terry


The atmosphere in the courtroom crept into my bones.  Here I stood, accused of murdering Jack Banford.  The past weeks I’d spent in police custody, appalling as they had been, were as nothing to the chill animosity that now flowed towards me from all directions. 
I took a deep breath and looked up.  I would face what was to come.  I would not crouch and hide.
Melissa took the stand first.  Expert witness.  She would presumably be followed by the pathologist, although I was not privy to the order of witnesses, of course. These were just simple thoughts that ran through my mind. So much clutter, trying to organise itself.   
When Melissa looked at me, I met her gaze. Despite my resolve, I felt my knees weaken.  She was here in her professional capacity, the look said.  She was not here as my ally.

“Good morning, my name is Jonathan Bewley, counsel for the prosecution.  Will you state your full name, please?”